Your Say

Dealing with Break-ups


By Jerrod Yee Weng Loke

Break-ups. It’s something you think you’ll be prepared for, but you’ll have no idea what’s going to hit you until it happens. For those who haven’t experienced one, here’s how a break-up feels like from a guy’s perspective: for the first few weeks, you’ll have this empty feeling in your heart like something’s missing, your daily exchange of good morning and goodnight will be gone, and every small detail will remind you of your ex. Everyone deals with break-ups in their own way, but here are the three best ways.

One of the most important things you need after a break-up is support. A break-up is something difficult to deal with alone. With so many mixed emotions in you, keeping them bottled up will make you feel as if they’re eating you up from the inside. You will end up hurting yourself or falling into depression. Therefore, open up to your close friends or family. Take every chance you have to share how you feel with the people who would always be there for you. Even as an introvert and someone who keeps things to himself, I would never turn down an invitation to go out with friends, and I always try my best to open up to my closest friends.

Another way to deal with a break-up is keeping yourself busy. The reason for this is to not fall into depression. How does not doing anything make you feel depressed? Well, try imagining this: you’ve just broken up, and all you do is lie on your bed and deal with your feelings. Soon, you’ll lose motivation to do the things you once loved to do, and you’ll be dragging your feet in doing things you have to do because you just don’t have the mood to do them. Instead, go to the gym, learn how to cook or even use this chance to stop procrastinating and do your assignments. Remember to keep yourself busy so that the break-up will hardly be on your mind.

Now this is something everybody will tell you: give yourself time. Go through the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), but make sure you make it to the last stage. Breaking up will feel as if it’s the end of the world, but it really isn’t. You need to try to not look back at the past but look forward. After you move on, you’ll realise that losing someone isn’t that big of a deal because some people are just not meant for each other. If you ended your relationship on good terms, it’s all right for the two of you to talk, but have some time apart before you start talking to your ex again. Don’t forget that they need to deal with the break-up as well.

Although it may seem like a big thing to you when it happens, it will be something you’ll get over eventually. Don’t give in to peer pressure and get together with someone because everyone else is in a relationship. Take your time and find the right one for you. Most importantly, make sure you don’t give in to things like drugs to keep your mind off the break-up because that would just lead you to bigger problems.