Your Say

Setting Boundaries in Relationships: How Far is Too Far?


By Diyana Farid

Relationships. We’ve all been in one (if not many) and might even be in one now. Relationships are not always romantic or sexual. They can be familial and platonic as well. Either way, humans are complex beings, and there will always be traits or things your partner does that may not sit right with you, and that is completely okay. We are all entitled to our own preferences, and we always have a right to decide when things get too far.

But how far is too far? Where should the line be drawn? Truthfully, that is up to you to decide. The decisions you make, whether monumental or miniscule in importance, are called boundaries. Different people have different takes on boundaries, and that is perfectly fine. What is important is that you are in control of setting your own boundaries with your partner. The things that hurt you or make you uncomfortable in any way, either physically or psychologically, are considered to have “gone too far”. If these things are happening to you, it is imperative that you confront your partner as this sort of toxic relationship is unhealthy.

What sort of boundaries should you set to not let things get too far? It is good to set boundaries so that there is always an imaginary line that you and your partner know never to cross. The first thing to do is to sit down and talk to your partner. Communication is key, so always feel free to express your opinions and worries to your partner to avoid assumptions and miscommunications. Make sure to set clear, specific boundaries. Vague boundaries can be vulnerable to loopholes and can also cause confusion. Boundaries like, “you should help me out around the house more” is too vague of a rule. Instead, try “let’s make a timetable for everyday house chores together and stick to it”. Also, be sure to set up a comfortable environment for you and your partner to be able to communicate freely together.

On the other hand, it is also crucial that you listen to your partner and adhere to their boundaries. There must be equal treatment in a healthy relationship, and listening to your partner is one of the most important things to do when setting boundaries. Encourage your partner to express any objections or concerns about your boundaries and work through them together to reach an agreement. Feel free to do the same on your end when your partner is establishing their boundaries with you. Once this obstacle in the relationship is out of the way, it will become easier to solve any future problems.

At the end of the day, this set of rules you create mutually with your partner is entirely up to the both of you. It is worth the while to have as it leads to a good and healthy relationship. Remember, you deserve to be happy! Good luck!